I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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