i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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