all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The uberlube is also flammable
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
