No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
