I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
