id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
