we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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