It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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