the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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