If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
