No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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