You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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