That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
