well you can't waste a boner
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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