mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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