Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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