there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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