Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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