Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
