either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
