also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
