speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
