So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
