You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize