i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
