Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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