I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
