as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
