Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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