Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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