Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
