Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize