I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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