I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
