He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
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No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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