i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
