and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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