You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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