i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
