remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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