Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
