I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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