Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
