Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize