the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
