Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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