my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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