So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
