Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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