Well douche your snatch and let's go!
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize