You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just pee around me
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
