i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
