I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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