I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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