I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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