Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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