My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
