Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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