Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The adults are the big ones right?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
